In what was promised to be “the horniest summer of all time,” we’re finding ourselves a bit disappointed. The hype has proven to be more exciting than the execution of dating post-vaxxed n waxed. The most unduly dilemma for anyone with a skincare routine, aside from how much going out costs, seems to be the classic one night stand.
After a year of sanitizing and distancing we’re now painfully aware of how disgusting humans can be. The germs, strangers breathing and spitting on you in a bar all night, sweating in the heat - to go home with another person? A man especially? Sounds horrendous. And if you are going to go home after one too many espresso martinis with one of the many Jake, Kyle, Tyler, Brad, Chad, Matt, John, or Justins out there, chances are he only has one pillow and a set of navy sheets his mom got him in college. that means he absolutely does not have an oil cleanser and a bottle of Youth To The People Superfood Cleanser waiting for you to wash away the evening’s sins.
As someone who identifies as a woman, the typical attire for a night out doesn’t allow for many places to carry my things. Any one of my tiny bags will typically fit my gloss, keys, ID, credit card, a lighter, and a pack of American Spirits. My phone usually ends up having to stay in hand the whole night. That leaves approximately no room for my six step skincare routine. The routine that I never skip even if it’s 4am and I’m intoxicated - we are d e d i c a t e d.
You can see the dilemma this causes when it comes to ending the night at someone else’s abode. The solution? Give the girls & gays an overnight skincare set that can fit in our tiny bags. (For god’s sake how has Sephora or Glossier not thought of this yet.) The requirements:
Oil cleanser - to remove makeup
Cleanser - double cleansing is always necessary
Toner - to hydrate the skin
Hyaluronic acid - to elevate said hydration
Niacinamide serum - to protect against environmental damage & inflammation (i.e. the drinking and cigs)
Moisturizer - to lock it all in and offer a glow since you probably won’t be getting much sleep
Only the necessities. An effective routine in a compact package. That’s all we’re asking for - equal pay and skincare that fits in a Prada mini. Add it to the feminist agenda. We can’t let small accessories stop us from carrying out the sacred routine of washing away our sins. Until this idea comes to fruition we’ll have use the jars from leftover sample sized products and a Glossier bag to DIY a one night stand kit. (girlboss-esque.) Let’s wrap it up shall we? With a reminder to do exactly that in the bedroom, wash your face, and have fun for the rest of hot girl summer.
P.S. here’s a fun & sexi playlist for you
xo - shelby